Powerful body language
I wanted to show a video here of what powerful women do to show confidence. Unfortunately, all the videos on female body language are all about DATING… LAME. Who the heck has a) time to watch dating advice on the Tube and b) cares about being typically feminine and “show interest” through some stupid advice like “spin your hair around your finger” or “keep eye contact a little too long.”
Look, I don´t want to bash somebody here, but my best advice is to be yourself with your own body language. If the person you´re dating is not attracted to that body language, maybe it´s not the person for you.
My bad, I got completely off track there. The subject here is powerful body language, aka what signals do you send out to other people or what signals would you rather send out? Sometimes we´re completely out of our comfort zone and we just want to seem confident and happy about the situation. “Typical” female body language includes crossing your legs, arms close to your sides, shoulders up, and in general taking as little space as possible. This makes you feel smaller, less significant and not confident.
I recommend doing the opposite: spread your legs when you sit down (may want to do this with pants on, at least in professional situations), force your arms to both sides, lower your shoulder and sit straight. Roll up your sleeves (no need to try and make them longer), and when in doubt: talk A LOT with your hands. Sure, it may seem a little ridic, but hey, when I begin taking space with my hands and arms, I can literally GRAB power in front of me. It scare people sometimes… Not my intention (all the time). Plus, it can help your hands from shaking if you´re really nervous.
Also, look people in the eye, that´s powerful. Not for too long at a time, but try it, people will listen to you. Turn your body towards people, not away from them. It makes them feel more welcome and that you are listening to them.
Back other people up by lightly touching their arm (in a non-creepy way ofc, use your judgement!), which will make them feel safer. Nod.
When I was in high school, I would have breaks where the people I hung out with were still in class. I was insecure, but I would hang out alone in the cafeteria, legs spread, arms out to the sides of the bench I was sitting at. I pretended like I was super confident, and I was told multiple times that I always looked so calm and secure sitting there.
http://www.tedxsalford.com/tips-how-to-read-peoples-minds-almost
What we tell ourselves with our body language: Amy Cuddy at TEDGlobal 2012
Amy Cuddy. Photo cred: ted.blog.com
Above: cool stuff about body language. Read about Amy Cuddy, she´s cool!
Plus, you look GOOD with awesome body language.
Hanna
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