How to be kind to awesome women that annoys you

Sometimes I am surprised by how much it annoys me that I dislike another woman. Look, other people that are annoying through and through I have no problem not caring about, because I have nothing in common with them, they´re not in my field, and hence I usually have no problem letting them be annoying and treating them nicely. 

But I have realized a scary part of my own behavior with other amazing women. If they are much like me we become friends and we support and value each other. But if there´s something in our our personalities that clash I have a hard time avoiding becoming annoyed. 
This is jealousy, right? I see another fabulous woman, she is seemingly perfect, beautiful and funny. But I dislike her for no real reason. 

And inside myself I get even more annoyed with myself because it is hard for me to support this amazing woman. Be it she may not be my friend, but she is doing a helluva great job at what she´s doing. Those are women I would logically like to support and those are the ones I would technically like to have around me. 

So here´s my list of how to be kind to awesome women that annoys you:
– Get to know her better. Sure, she may be intimidating or you think you won´t like her, but in my experience, the more you get to know a person, the more you will get used to him/her and that will lead you to accept him/her. 
– Think of things you are great at. “Sure, I haven´t (insert cool thing other woman does), but I write great speeches/run fast like frick/I am great at making small talk.”
–  Consider things you can ask her to help you with and maybe you can exchange some knowledge (bc you probably know stuff she would like to know as well). Showing that you are interested in what she does and would like to learn will flatter the other person, she will let her guard down (if she has it up) and you can be more casual around each other. (I mean, let´s be honest, how happy are you not when people ask you to explain EXACTLY what it is that you do? Myself, I can talk for hours).
– Ask another friend for help on how to deal with the situation. I have found so often that my friends have another opinion of the person, and then that makes it easier for me to like them. 

More advice? Throw them my way!

And yes, you are amazing. And that other woman can be your friend. 
Hanna

About “why this?”

Hello,
it´s me again. I thought I´d write a little bit more about why I am so passionate about (young) women´s leadership.

Throughout my childhood and somewhat until this day I have been an insecure girl and young woman. As a child I was nervous about a lot of things: gym class, talking to the boys in class, performing in different kind of situations, talking to adults, any kind of sports I had to do, games we had to play (especially the ones called “fruit salad” and “gingerbread men”).
I think back and I think I was unrelaxed most of the time. When we had the annual evaluation meeting with my parents and my teachers, I was always told that they knew I had the answer to the questions, I just needed to raise my hand sometime so they could give me the chance to show my knowledge.
My dad even gave me a post it note to put down how many times I raised my hand every day.
Now, what did I do with that? Here´s the problem. I made three columns:
1) Number of times I raised my hand
2) Number of times I got to answer
3) Number of times I answered correctly

You see, I was so fixated with being RIGHT, and the reason I hardly ever raised my hand was because I was not 100% sure I was going to answer the question correctly. It makes me sad to think that 8-year old Hanna never really got to discuss things in class because she was too afraid of other people judging her for saying something “wrong.”

I´m still this way, I have a hard time asking questions because I´m afraid of sounding dumb. When I am in large groups and I feel uncomfortable I am quiet. I beat myself up on the inside when I think I have not done a good enough job.

But I am sure not many notice this. I have only told a few people about this, and I know I am good at keeping a facade up. And I know there are many other women out there like me, that are smart and beautiful and funny and witty and sassy, but not comfortable at all times to be themselves, because it is not what society expects of them.
What I really want is for women to feel like they not have to care about the expectations of society, but instead to take steps and make gains in field that they are interested in, no matter what they themselves look like, talk like or act like. I am reminded each and every day of the invisible (and sometimes visible) walls that exist in society, keeping women out or boxed in.

Young women need more imperfect, but in their own way perfect, inspirational role models.

YLG
Hanna